


Trivial Untruths

by Anonymous



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bad Parent Professor Membrane, Might Not Tag Adequately To Avoid Spoilers, Secrets, Unresolved Emotional Tension, but like not intentionally, he's doing his best, longfic, ooh how mysterious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 07:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20653823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dib couldn't even trust his dad at this point. He'd given up, mostly, but the moment he became passive with his endeavors, everything had to become so much more uncomfortable. Nobody was going to listen to him, and he couldn't even avoid the looming threat of alien invasion, as it'd been brought into his own home. He wanted to say his dad was working against him at this point.





	Trivial Untruths

The summer had been both a blessing and a curse.  
On one hand, Dib and Zim didn’t technically have to pester each other every day. On the other, they usually pestered one another anyway, and this time it was in the neighbourhood. And usually causing some kind of destruction. It was a Friday, and a quieter one at that. Since the incident with the Florpus and the Minimoose and all this and that, the banter has grown more tame.

More pointless.

Without a Tallest to invade later on, what was Zim preparing for? What was an irken’s purpose without someone to give him orders? This was what was on his mind as Zim sat on his doorstep, eyes locked onto the Dib-thing’s house. What was the point of it, really, now that he had not much of a reason to even be undercover any more? No missions to fill either. Not one. “GIR,” he barked, pushing the door open slightly, “shut down interstellar contact, and um. Make yourself useful and clean up. I’m heading over to the Dib-thing’s base.”

The robot replied with its usual strange salute to his master before Zim went off to make the brisk walk to the enemy’s home, cloaked in his flawless disguise as he approached. Knocking upon the door with all the force in his little fists, Zim found himself eye to eye with Dib, of course, who else would he be expecting? He huffed, kicking some gravel into the house as he yelled, despite being not more than a few feet away from Dib, “DIB-THING! I’ve come to inquire on the status of your evening to see if-”  
“Zim, listen, I’m trying to eat dinner here. Can we wait until I’m at least done with that?”  
“There is no waiting for Zim, Dib-worm.”  
And the door was closed on his face.  
Now this just wouldn’t do. Zim rounded left of the house, climbing up to a screened window that had glass just barely ajar. His feet dug into the side of the house as he hung by the ledge, peering in. The human family sat at a table, eating people food, aside from Dib who seemed to be sitting down with the others after having to answer the door. Zim clawed at the mesh, probably looking vaguely like a rabid raccoon before anyone said anything.  
“Dad,” Dib huffed, “Zim’s at the window again.”

Membrane got up and lifted the screen from the window. “Why don’t we let your little friend in for dinner for once?” And Zim ran in like some sort of animal, laughing maniacally as he stood back up on his feet. “See? He’s enthusiastic to visit.”  
Dib sighed as his father pulled up a chair for Zim, who was just barely tall enough to sit at the table with the others. “Do I need to say it again? He’s not my friend and he’s an alien. Gaz, please back me up for once.” Gaz didn’t look up from her handheld. 

Membrane sighed, pulling Foodio over by the arm. “Son, that’s no way to treat a guest.” The scientist fiddled with some knobs and bits that resided under a panel in the robot’s back before it spat something or another out from its synthesizing chambers. Assumingly what was human food. Membrane set out the plate in front of the very-human boy, who eyed it suspiciously. It’s almost like he forgot he was under a pair of scrutinous eyes. “… Thank you, Dib-thing’s caretaker.” Zim took a utensil in hand, tempted to say it was a fork, and jabbed at the meaty part of the plate’s contents. Seemed suspiciously spongy.

Dib accused, “What, can’t eat it? Can’t eat human food?”  
“Nonsense,” Zim lied as his eyes darted between Membrane, the children and his definitely non-toxic meal, “I can eat perfectly fine, thank you.” He prodded at the food before taking the tiniest morsel up, pressing it against his thin lips. Surprisingly, it didn’t leave any unpleasant reaction on his lips, so he took it in with a little less caution. Didn’t taste half bad. Dib stared in some silent fear and awe as the other actually ate what was put in front of him. Human food. With meat and water and stuff.  
Membrane laughed heartily as he pat the little green thing’s head, “Ho ho, we should have you over for dinner more often.” He then turned over to his own food, trying to turn his fork on again. (Really, he was considering building a new one at that point.)

“Oh, no,” Dib put his hands on the table as he lifted himself up, announcing loudly and very much above dinner-table volume, “you can’t just-- LET him eat at the table!”  
Gaz chimed in, “but he did, so stop trying to start stuff with Dad. I’m trying to have dinner here,” as she continued mashing away at buttons. Dib sighed as he sat back down glaring at Zim, who seemed oddly invested in actually eating. That was new.  
It was almost like a typical family dinner with a guest, except with Dib trying to kick at Zim from under the table, as the boy was clearly not pleased with the extra addition to the table. Soon, though, everyone had cleaned their plates to the point of satisfaction, which wasn’t very much for Membrane or Dib, but dinner was wrapped up either way.  
“How about we have your little foreign friend over for the night, Dib? I think it’d be good for you two to have a little bonding time, seeing how you seem to have some talking out to do,” Membrane chattered while washing plates in the sink. All the technology in the world could not defeat the calm activity of scrubbing dirt and food grime off of plates.

“What? N-”  
“I’d be glad to reside inside your base for the night.” That shit-eating grin of zipper shaped teeth beamed, and Dib reciprocated a scowl.  
“Wonderful, you two can have the living room for tonight if you’d like,” Membrane stated as he peeled off his gloves to dry, “I’ll be down in my lab, if you all don’t mind.” With that, he took his gloves down with him down to the entrance to his laboratory. With the head of the house out of sight, Zim stuck his tongue out at Dib before skittering towards the steps, to which the human boy followed with haste, turning the corner and slamming into the wall with how fast he was chasing after the other. Zim made a beeline for Dib’s room, but his pursuer got to him first, jumping atop him and trying to make it to his room first. Logically, he could very easily just lock himself in the whole night, but when he jiggled the handle, it didn’t give way.  
“Now, son,” an aerial monitor manifested from some corner of the room, displaying Membrane’s face (or at least what was visible from the cuff of the lab coat) as the ‘pre-recorded’ signifier blinked at the bottom, “I don’t want you on the computer all night. Extra sheets and blankets are in the linen closet.” With that, the drone excused itself, and Dib sighed. His dad had planned out the sleepover in advance, it seemed, which Dib kind of felt pathetic about; his dad anticipating his social blunders and blights so far in forethought. Zim had already made his attempts at prying at the door, but even with his PAK legs writhing and picking at the knob and door hinges, he made no progress.  
“What--” Zim plopped down onto the floor as his mechanical arachnopedes retracted into their container, “What abysmal technology does your parental unit use to keep that sealed? And how is one expected to even get in?”  
“Well, I wouldn’t tell you either way,” Dib spat at the alien house guest, “but I suppose it keeps you out, so by default, I kind of win this one.”  
“You are the winner of nothing, Dib-filth.”  
With that, the high of the night’s energy was pretty much gone. Zim and Dib went downstairs in a more orderly fashion than they went up, Gaz having taken the centre of the couch the others sat on either side of. Zim dug some small packet of sugar out of his pocket, sticking his tongue in as Dib turned on the television to his usual geek shows. It almost looked like a domestic group of kids if Zim wasn’t green and earless, and Dib’s head was a little bit smaller.

Some time passed.

After a while, the couch vibrated, muffled slightly.

“Hold on,” Zim scooted out of his little corner of the couch, cushions indented from his time there, “I gotta take this.” He walked off, his PAK glowing visibly in time of the rumbling as he went into the kitchen.  
With a command from his PAK, a screen emerged from Zim’s back with a clearly distressed GIR in view. “MASTERRRR,” GIR whined from the other end of the call, audible to those in the living room, “THERE’S A STRANGE MAN AND IT’S NOT THE PIZZA GUY! At least I don’t think he is!” The robot noticeably turned from the camera and screamed, “ARE YOU THE PIZZA GUY?” The question was replied with silence and the noise of shuffling around something off camera. “Master I don’t think he’s the pizza guyyy.”  
“GIR!” Zim exclaimed, far out of the range of an inside voice, “You let some filthy human into our BASE?” He sighed as he pinched the bridge where his nose would be if he had one, “I’ll be right over.” With that, Zim was making his way out of the kitchen.  
Dib had directed his attention away from the television, peeking over the back of the couch to see a dishevelled Zim. “What’s going on with your little robot minion thing? Someone in your base?”  
The alien grabbed at the handle of the front door, “GIR says someone’s in there, and I’m not-...” He glared at the doorknob, jiggling the handle with no avail. “Dib-worm, your door is broken.”  
“What? No it’s not.” The boy moved down from the couch, trying the handle for himself. No give. “Or maybe… Zim, did you touch anything important?”  
“I mean it when I say I didn’t touch anything, you inferior worm,” and Zim actually looked Dib dead in the eyes. And Zim was never known to be a good liar.  
Dib sighed, twisting the handle half-heartedly. “Well either way, something set off my dad’s security system. Kind of stuck in here until it’s deactivated, and the breaker is...” Dib glanced to the entrance to the basement in the kitchen, a pair of chrome elevator doors. “I’ll be right back.” With that, he took off towards the door.  
“Yeah, you do that,” and once the earth boy was out of sight, Zim immediately took to reaching around to tamper with his PAK again, yanking out his call system again to ring up GIR, who answered quickly and was in the dark.  
“Master, he still isn’t gone and I’m huuungry.” Oh, at least he picked up.  
“That’s why I put your leftovers in the – Okay, GIR. You have to listen very carefully and I mean it this time.” Zim held the screen very close to his face. “You NEED to apprehend the trespasser immediately, okay? Do you understand me clearly? Wait, where are you?”  
“The closet.”  
“And...why are you there?”  
“Got locked in!” And he giggled like nothing was wrong.  
“By the intruder? That’s...bad, GIR. Hold tight,” he held anger back through his words, GIR not being the justified recipient for his fury, “and don’t give any information under interrogation if it comes to that.”  
“Yes, sir!”

And the call ended just like that. Well, it was high time he got out of here. Now alone, aside from Gaz who seemed to be more invested in her Game Slave than anything else. Little claws dug at the edge of the door, but akin to Dib’s room, the door didn’t show much of any sign of opening. Damn this extensive Earth security. The windows had a similar issue, and while he was sure nobody was looking, he did throw his weight against that window to no avail. Dib said something about a security system, right? Eh, hell if he remembered, he might as well see if he was making any progress on getting out.  
If he recalled correctly, the Earth-boy had went through the kitchen, down through this strange vessel of shiny metal. He hit all of the three the buttons beside it, and eventually it did open up after some trial and error. Stepping in, he pushed the lowermost button, Zim having figured it was probably an elevator of some kind. The next time the shiny gates opened, he was met with such an interesting sight of test tubes and wires threaded through one another, so many bits and bobs. Almost reminded him of his short-lived time as a scientist on Irk. In the background of the pristine whites and blues was Dib, tinkering with some sort of control panel in front of dozens of screens.  
“Come on,” the boy muttered under his breath, “I can’t find the switch for it...” Zim strutted over with his hands behind his back, jabbing Dib’s neck with a thumb, almost undoubtedly as ‘playful hyuuman child banter’. “Ow!” Dib was pulled from the concentration he had for the task at hand, rubbing the back of his neck, “what was that for?”  
“You know, you Earth-things and your,” he motioned his hand as he thought of a good excuse to just poke Dib, “playful hyuuman child banter.” It was always that. “Anyway. You were saying you couldn’t find – Hold on what’s that.” Zim’s stubbly, gloved fingers jabbed at a stray screen near the top, a cheap one that Dib could have sworn he’s both seen and bought before, decently smaller than the others and almost tucked away in some ill design choice.  
“That’s,” Dib squinted, before taking his glasses off and rubbing some filth off the lenses, “… Is that your base?”  
Among the visuals of various angles around the Membrane house, the living room, bedrooms, front door, there was one of the insides of Zim’s house. The view was angled awkwardly among giant wiry tubes and machinery, but it was, without a doubt, the computer control room.  
Zim fumed. “WHAT has your filthy father been spying on me for? Is-” His pupils shrunk noticeably, “he’s a scientist! Youuu,” he turned his attention towards Dib, snarling as legs protruded from his PAK and towered above the other, “YOU ratted me out! You think after all this time you’re going to get me on the Irk-foresaken dissection table, you have another thing coming, you big-headed, nghrr, oaf!”  
If anything, Dib just seemed confused. “Listen! You know my dad doesn’t believe what I say, I know just as much as you do about why he’s peeping around in your base of all places!” Admittedly, Dib could have sworn every attempt he’d made at monitoring Zim was proved fruitless when he tried it inside of the alien’s home, cameras either getting destroyed or the paired monitors just mysteriously vanishing. “I’ll look into it later, but for now we need to get us out of lock-down. What did you even touch, Zim?”

“I didn’t touch ANYTHING.”

He was very...insistent on him genuinely not getting into anything he should have. Sure, every now and again he’d come over when they weren’t trying to maul one another just to hang out and try board games and watch TV, but Dib was reluctant to let go of his suspicions. Zim seemed painfully sincere, though…  
“Alright, look, you help me disable the security and I’ll look into the camera thing and see if I can help you investigate. Is that a deal you’ll take?”  
Zim shrugged, his arachnopedes retracting back into the PAK.  
“Sure, whatever...”  
“Alright, it’s a deal, then. You can help by not interfering.” Dib scrambled to very carefully step onto the control panel table, not flipping any switches or anything in the process, hopefully. Some monitors had their own controls and knobs and doodads for them, probably much easier for his dad to reach just by standing, but Dib made do. The one of his own room had a switch for his door to lock itself up, and of course, it’d been flipped. Stubby fingers turned it back into the unsecured position. Now for the rest of the house… Front door, a knob labelled “security” with white labelling tape. Off with that one too. And, simply because his curiosity was piqued, he checked out the monitor for Zim’s house. A blank knob had been obviously modified into the design that Dib recognized, several notches indented into it. Turning it once, just once to the right and no more, the screen displayed a view from under Zim’s couch. GIR’s legs dangled in front of the view of the camera, proving he’d managed his way out of whatever closet he was in and very much not trying to apprehend whoever had bugged him earlier. Zim seemed to notice this.  
“GIR!” He shouted, like the robot could hear him, “ARE YOU SAFE?” One could make an educated guess, seeing as how he was watching something on the TV and kicking his legs in a carefree fashion. A box of apple juice dropped onto the floor in front of him. Dib rolled his eyes, flicking the dial another notch. This was accompanied by the screen turning into a mess of fuzz before clearing out, the display showing a clear view of Zim’s control room again. The angle was clearly directly under the massive screen that would typically be the display for Zim’s confidential calls with his Tallests. It’d been unused in that way for a while. The alien stood on his PAK limbs, staring wide-eyed in disbelief at all the ways he could have been...stalked, terrifyingly.  
A similar revelation hit Dib moments later, but it was a very different shock to him.  
Something, something big crawled out of a narrow tube in the back that connected to the upper chambers of the base. The elevator, being probably only big enough to contain something about 3 kids tall, had been crammed full of one very-much-too-big-to-fit person, shadowy as it emerged, but as they came closer, the light from the giant monitor of Zim’s computer revealing their face, their form, a distinguished zig-zag of a cowlick sticking up from his head.  
“Dib-worm, you’ve lead your parental parasite to invade my BASE? It’s clear to see,” Zim shoved the boy off the table, clicking and switching a number of finely-tuned measures of security, knocking some papers over and generally making a mess, “that you two had planned to TRAP me in your awful home with your – YOUR DISGUSTING FOOD, THAT’S WHAT YOU DID!”  
The look on Dib’s face was nothing short of confusion. “I literally just said, I don’t KNOW what he’s doing in there!” He was trying to position himself in a way where he could still see what his father was doing in Zim’s base; the implications of this were...perplexing. His dad obviously HAD to know the nature of Zim now, like, there was no way he couldn’t, right? He saw his dad set something up on the table before a PAK leg pierced the literal ground next to his head.  
“Now that I’m in YOUR base, you complete and utter worm, I’ll just,” He lifted another arachnopede above the boy’s head, “exact my revenge as planned!”  
“Zim, I know you didn’t plan this.”  
Zim let out a defeated sigh. “Whatever. I suppose I’ll need your important info for later on.” The alien redirected his attention to the screen, seeing the scientist alarmed about something. Oh god, he was looking directly at the camera. There was no sound, but lights above him flashed frantically as he grabbed the spy cam and everything seemed to turn to fuzzy static once more.  
Dib got back up on his own two feet on his own time, seeing as his dad seemed to take notice of his own creepy spying apparatus, and as he scrambled back up to switch the dial back to its prior settings, the one from beneath GIR was only active for a few moments before Membrane was seen frantically reaching beneath the couch GIR still occupied to rip the camera from its comfy hiding place. Turning the dial all the way to the right, the view switched into one that was just above Zim’s front door. Membrane burst out with some box of various bits and bobs, all of which Zim seemed angry about.  
“HE’S TAKING MY TECHNOLOGY! My sweet, sweet Irken tech, far superior to his,” the irken clenched his fist, glaring at the display as the white-coated man scurried off in the direction of his home, “and here he comes now. Filthy Earth scientist knows even he cannot rival the work of my glorious-”  
“GOD, okay, I get it Zim.” Dib brushed himself off, starting to dash over to the elevator. “My dad’s obviously got a lot of explaining to do, and as promised, I was gonna look into it. Actually...” This was starting to become very fishy, Dib noted. Professor Membrane, the one holding the whole logic and definite lack of aliens above his head all his life, finally would have to own up to Zim’s existence. As an alien. Oh, this was gonna be SO good.  
Pressing down on the button of the elevator’s controls, Zim scattered up from behind and stood beside Dib. “I’ll also have to erase the contents of your father’s brain,” he said nonchalantly, his black heels clicking against the floor of the elevator, “as even though he’s your father, and genetically that should prove him as a complete fool, he’s still a terrifyingly respected scientist. And I’m not giving up my inner tubes and organs to be dissected on like some frog in skool.”  
Dib rolled his eyes as he clicked the main floor’s button when he stepped in as well, retorting as the doors closed on them both, “I’ll see to it that your organs get put in a jar of formaldehyde so I can personally keep them on my desk, Zim. Maybe not today, but you know it’s coming.”  
Zim let out a disgusted groan. “You humans are so gross.”  
The doors gave way to a disgruntled Professor Membrane, standing dead centre with a big moving box in his hands. “Son. Son’s foreign friend.” He coughed when Dib gave him an accusatory glare, “what’s that look for?”  
“Well, I think we both know-” The elevator doors started closing on the two, Dib moving to open them again with the appropriate button, “-We uh, we both know what I’m going to say here.”  
A moment of silence before the doors started closing automatically again.  
“Oh for the sake of-” Dib once AGAIN opened the door, stepping out as he dragged Zim by the arm out of the elevator’s chambers. “Listen, Dad, you really have been playing stupid. Look! The proof is in the pudding.” He pointed a stubbly little finger at the box in his dad’s hands, gripping Zim by the arm with his free hand. “You were in Zim’s quote-unquote basement, which you KNOW has alien technology in it! You’re a smart man, Dad, and you’d just be LYING to say you don’t see the elephant in the room at this point!”  
The professor took a moment to set the box of doodads on the table, metal clanging against metal as it thumped down on the counter top. “Now, son, I think it’s about time we’ve had a well-earned talk about your friend Zim here. You two,” he stuck out two gloved fingers as he waggled them in the boy’s direction, “come and sit down at the table.”  
Dib huffed as he pulled Zim over, who seemed a little reluctant to do so as he huffily sat in one of the chairs. Dib took the one alongside him.  
“Now you see, son, Zim here is simply...” He seemed to hesitate to think of a proper wording, “He’s a very smart little thing, you know? And as a scientist, I’ve taken interest in the technology this very smart boy has to work with. Inspiring, really; with his condition, he’s quite the underdog.”  
“What-”  
“YES!” Zim whacked two little fists on the table, rattling the box of metal on it, “Zim is simply an incredibly gifted Earth-smeet human-thing! Finally, yes, you acknowledge the ALMIGHTY ZIM’S infinite talents, you disgusting biologist.”  
The professor let out a deep laugh, to the dismay of his son. “Oh ho, yes, I suppose I have! Zim, how would you be interested in working with me in Membrane Labs?”  
Dib snapped out of some kind of mix of shock and complete dumbfoundedness. “What are you TALKING about Dad? He’s so OBVIOUSLY an alien, and- that doesn’t even BEGIN to explain the cameras in-”  
“Now, Dib, don’t be jealous that your friend is more science-inclined than you. Come here, I still love you as you’re my son!” A disgruntled Dib was squeezed tight in the arms of the professor. “I’ve just been thinking on it, and I’ve considered taking your little friend here on as my assistant. Why, you’re practically brothers!”

“BROTHERS? Okay, no, Dad, I’ll have to stop you there-”

Zim seemed more than happy about the situation. “Wonderful! I suppose that means I may become an insider on your worldwide distributed products and your incredibly powerful company, then.”  
Membrane chuckled as he pat both Dib’s and Zim’s head, “That’s great! I’ll be off with some of your pieces, then, Zim. You and Dib can head up to his room, seeing how you...turned off the security I’d set in place while I was out. Dib, I just ask you stay off your computer for the night if you’re going in there. You need to socialize with your little friend some more, it’s good for you.” As he looked down at his son, Membrane must have felt some kind of guilt, at least that’s what Dib guessed, because he leaned down to give his son a tight hug. He whispered, just below audible for the third individual present in the room, “I promise it’ll make sense soon. Just go with it.”  
Dib was almost mad, raising a finger as he tried to come up with a response. “But-” And Membrane was already off with his stolen box of goods into his little laboratory downstairs. “Zim, I hope you know I’m going to beat you up.”  
“I’ll tell your dad.”  
“Whatever, let’s just...go sleep, I guess.” Unless he could get his hands on the technology his dad dragged home, he wouldn’t have much more to tell the Swollen Eye network that he hadn’t already said, and he was starting to suspect he was close to getting suspended for how much he’d been posting without more substantial evidence. Didn’t wanna risk that.  
“Sleep is such a waste of precious time. Can I watch that one movie with the giant vat of your earth-poison? And the giant woman? Oh, the little demon from the ocean, I want to watch that one.”  
“What, Ponyo? I guess?” That usually kept him occupied well into the morning on nights like this. A suitable distraction from his destructive ways.  
“Very nice...for my studies. You people have such peculiar culture. Ugly and soft.”  
As the disk slid into its player, Dib unplugged the mouse and keyboard from his computer and locked it up in a box under his bed. Zim had wrapped himself up in some extra linens Dib grabbed from the closet, perched in the chair like a very good little alien, and Dib turned away from the bright screen.

“Goodnight, you little monster.”  
“I’m hoping you choke on something in your sleep, Dib.”


End file.
